BBP STORIES: I did research on how I felt

West High School

I’m gender fluid.

And it was a really, really rough experience coming out as in just kind of being, you know. Something you weren’t born by. It was just really, really, you know, stressful to think that you weren’t normal for a while. I spent a long time just kind of wondering is this normal at, at all? And it was kind of stressful. But last year, I started crying in school because I broke down and I, I didn’t know if I was normal for a while. And someone asked me what was wrong. I didn’t tell anyone prior to how I was feeling, not even my best friends.

And I just poured my heart out into the conversation I had with him. And it, it was the most, it was the best think I could have asked for because he, he just listened to me. And it felt like someone … Even if someone didn’t understand what I was going through, they wanted to understand how I felt. It was really, really helpful for me. I did research on how I felt. I found out that there was something called gender fluid. And I was like: Wow. This is, this is how I feel. This–. I want to be a girl and I want to be a boy. But I don’t want to change that much. And um–. I, I went with that.


I told my friends.

They were supportive. Thank God. My parents. I, I couldn’t, I didn’t tell them for a while. I just sat at home and I really wanted to tell them. They knew I was, they knew, they thought I was a lesbian. But I told them later that I was pan sexual.

But I sat at home and I finally decided: OK. You know what? Today’s the day I’m going to tell my dad because he deserved to know first because he was kind of getting a son, in a way, as well as his daughter. And uh–. I took, we took, we went to dinner together and I just started asking him questions of what his views were on um-, gender. And I finally told them I feel like I’m both genders. And he, he kind of thought I was [laughing while talking] joking with him. Because that’s what I do with him. But after a while he, he really started asking questions. Like well, how did you feel? How did you come upon this? Why do you feel like this? And he’s, he’s, he had to do research on it. He didn’t understand it. But now he did the research cause he cared for me and he was very supportive and I’m really happy that he is because now he’s my biggest supporter in this.

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