BBP STORIES: Frowned upon

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BBP STORIES: Frowned upon

West High School

For some reason, it’s easier for me to handle the fact that they’re two girls next to me than two guys, like two couples, because for me, when I see a man, I think of, you know, the strong man protecting his family, the wife, the kid, you know, all that. The athlete. And when I see two, two gay couples, they’re kissing and especially when like they’re really buff, too. Like two macho mans, it’s kind of like it’s a weird look.

You know? And you’re not–. I know you’re not supposed to care about appearance, but, you know, it’s, it’s in front of you. You see it. You can’t help but think and wonder. But it’s just a weird thing. But I have, I have a lot of gay friends, especially men, who have–. I’ve seen them kiss a boy and it doesn’t, it doesn’t bother me because it’s just a kiss. That wouldn’t necessarily bother me. But when their arms are next to each other, I’m just like: Wow.

I mean, I’m not–. I wouldn’t say I’m homophobic. But I would say it kind of like–. It’s just a little weird. It’s a weird feeling when I look at them because–. And I feel bad for saying this because if I were to see two girls kissing, I’d be like: Oh. OK. Like that’s normal because it’s just, it’s just two girls. Like it’s–. Like a lot of straight guys think two girls kissing is hot, is hot. And two guys it’s frowned upon.

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BBP STORIES: Having a kid

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BBP STORIES: Having a kid

West High School

I actually learned something pretty interesting that being gay doesn’t mean that you don’t have to have a kid. It just means–. Being gay is just a saying of who you love, like a man and a man. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have a kid. And I didn’t learn that until, until I talked to one of my teachers. After that, I opened my eyes and I was like: Oh, really? And my theory was totally incorrect. So I actually learned something. Yeah.

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BBP STORIES: I did research on how I felt

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BBP STORIES: I did research on how I felt

West High School

I’m gender fluid.

And it was a really, really rough experience coming out as in just kind of being, you know. Something you weren’t born by. It was just really, really, you know, stressful to think that you weren’t normal for a while. I spent a long time just kind of wondering is this normal at, at all? And it was kind of stressful. But last year, I started crying in school because I broke down and I, I didn’t know if I was normal for a while. And someone asked me what was wrong. I didn’t tell anyone prior to how I was feeling, not even my best friends.

And I just poured my heart out into the conversation I had with him. And it, it was the most, it was the best think I could have asked for because he, he just listened to me. And it felt like someone … Even if someone didn’t understand what I was going through, they wanted to understand how I felt. It was really, really helpful for me. I did research on how I felt. I found out that there was something called gender fluid. And I was like: Wow. This is, this is how I feel. This–. I want to be a girl and I want to be a boy. But I don’t want to change that much. And um–. I, I went with that.

 

I told my friends.

They were supportive. Thank God. My parents. I, I couldn’t, I didn’t tell them for a while. I just sat at home and I really wanted to tell them. They knew I was, they knew, they thought I was a lesbian. But I told them later that I was pan sexual.

But I sat at home and I finally decided: OK. You know what? Today’s the day I’m going to tell my dad because he deserved to know first because he was kind of getting a son, in a way, as well as his daughter. And uh–. I took, we took, we went to dinner together and I just started asking him questions of what his views were on um-, gender. And I finally told them I feel like I’m both genders. And he, he kind of thought I was [laughing while talking] joking with him. Because that’s what I do with him. But after a while he, he really started asking questions. Like well, how did you feel? How did you come upon this? Why do you feel like this? And he’s, he’s, he had to do research on it. He didn’t understand it. But now he did the research cause he cared for me and he was very supportive and I’m really happy that he is because now he’s my biggest supporter in this.

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